Todays been such a good day. Lunch earlier went so well, I feel so proud of myself. After we spent the day xmas shopping.
I cant believe how far I have come. Yes I do still have anorexic thoughts but I battle against them and refuse to let them take over my life. On Wednesday we are going out on a class night out and I plan on fully engaging in this. My life has gotten so much better since Ive accepted the idea that I cant be “Anorexic” anymore. Its a stupid desire that destroys your life and ultimately leaves you in misery. Now each day brings challenges around food/body image but at least I am happier with my friends and I am getting my life back.
Ive a massive exam tomorrow and I am so worried over it. I just want it to be over. Every time I have exams panic sets in and I feel like I am not good enough.
I have faith that one day I will be at peace with my body and my eating habits
Hi thank you so much for your lovely message! I wish you hadn’t sent it on anonymous so I knew who you were. Seriously it meant a lot.
I am trying with everything I have to ignore these thoughts. I do feel big but I know I am comparing myself to the sick weak anorexic version of myself not the healthy version. It’s still a daily battle against these thoughts trying to pull me back but going back is a place I know I can’t go!
No matter what you do, or what happens on Christmas day, it is only one day, and it is important not to make it seem like a high hurdle to get over. Christmas day is about you relaxing, it is about taking it slow, doing things that make you feel happy, so try to find a balance that will allow you to do this as much as possible.
Today been a hard day. Anorexias been casting her shadow over me. She’s desperately trying to pull me back to a place of false security. In my mind the place she offers/the feelings she’s telling telling me I will feel is so tempting, but I know deep down it’s all lies. Ive been struggling to ignore her but I know she’s there, commenting on everything and it’s exhausting. I hope tomorrow is easier.